Essays

 

 

Refugees of 9/11:  Of Memory and Peace

Scenes from the Moral Autobiography of a Jew

 

By

Gidon D. Remba

 

Sari Nusseibeh spoke recently to the Israeli newspaper Ha’aretz about his own family’s experience as a prism through which to see the Palestinian-Israeli conflict in sharp relief:  “My mother,” he explained, “is a refugee. She was expelled from her home in Ramle. She has lived most of her life in Jerusalem, but she has never stopped talking about what happened. Her longing to return is boundless. When I was young, I asked myself whether that is really what she wants - to return to Ramle. Even after we knew that her house had been totally demolished, she continued to talk about it. And then one day I understood that she wants to return 15 kilometers [7 miles] to the west and 60 years back in time. That's the deal. The dream of return is not seen in geographical terms, but in terms of time. It is a dream that expresses deep feelings of pain and the need for compensation. But in the real world, those feelings are translated into technical political terms.  The dispute between the Palestinians and Israel can only be solved on a two-state basis, and I believe Palestinians understand they cannot demand both a state and return to Israel," continued Nusseibeh. "The Palestinian state will provide the refugees with the basis for solving their problems; give them an opportunity to build new life. They will understand they must change the old dreams of the past for new dreams of the future."

 

Nusseibeh’s words resonate with a strange familiarity for me, the son of an Israeli Jew who, following his own father, sought refuge from the Palestinian-Israeli civil war of the 1930’s and 40’s on the pacific shores of America.  When the time came, he and his brother hitched a freight train from Tel Aviv to Alexandria, Egypt.  On June 13, 1946,  the New York Times reported my father’s arrival, through Ellis Island, in New York Harbor, after a 10-day journey by ship from Alexandria:  “Two brothers, 9 and 15 years old, both natives of Palestine, whose mother died last month, three days before she was to leave Egypt with them for this country, were reunited here yesterday with their father, a United States citizen, whom they had not seen in seven years [just before the outbreak of the Second World War].  Ephraim Remba, the father of Moshe and Oded, who was born in Poland and now is a Los Angeles merchant, flew here from the West Coast, and was dramatically reunited with them on the ship’s promenade deck soon after the Vulcania arrived.  He embraced them for several minutes. All were visibly moved by the meeting. Mrs. Mathilda Remba, the mother of the boys, died of a heart attack” in Ra’anana, near Tel Aviv, at the age of 37.  Along with my father, Oded, his brother and other passengers, the ship carried 361 war brides, “Italian girls who boarded the ship at Naples.”  (New York Times, June 13, 1946).  The Times article has been reproduced on the web by Chris Zitti, the grandson of Giovanni Vitti, who had served in Italy during the Second World War, and was reunited with his Italian wife when the Vulcania brought my father and the war brides to New York following the war. The original 1946 article is viewable at http://www.cnr.edu/home/GRS/dnair/family.html

 

Three decades later, the New York Times reported my father’s untimely death, also from a heart attack, at the age of 47.   I had been living in Jerusalem with a Palestinian-Israeli couple, Nabil and Miriam Marshood, like me, students at Hebrew University.  The call informing me of my father's passing in New York came without warning.  The following year, 1978, I returned to the U.S., and settled in Chicago.   I would return to New York from time to time to visit my mother, who had sold the family home in pastoral New Jersey to strike out as a working woman in the gritty glare of New York City.  On every visit East, it became my custom to visit the World Trade Center.  Heart racing, I would ride to the sky, buy a drink in the top-floor Windows on the World cafe, and look longingly out at the vast and glittering expanse of New Jersey, hoping somehow to bring myself closer to home, the home I had lost, to my father who was no longer.   I always left with the same ache I arrived with.   Yet I persisted in returning to the tower’s summit each year; often the gnawing emptiness was greater on returning to sea level than before each ascent.  

 

On one visit, accompanied by my brother, I drove out to Cranford, the bucolic New Jersey town where we had passed our youth, and visited our boyhood home, the last place I had seen my father.  The town hadn’t changed much, nor had the house, though the new owners had adorned the yard with well-kept gardens.  But this time I left seized with a searing epiphany:  I could never go back, no matter how often I returned, no matter how long I gazed from the urban mountaintop at the panorama where my childhood had unfolded.  From that moment, I resolved that I would feel closest to my father if I found my own new joys and sorrows, instead of straining to recapture a remembrance of things past.   I resolved that Carole and I would make our own family, and create a new home where I could tend to the growth of my own children, my own garden, as my father had seen to ours.   And I pledged to continue what my father had started, to help build justice and peace between Israelis and Arabs, one brick at a time, the cause to which he had devoted his life.    

 

I had lost touch with Nabil and Miriam, my erstwhile Jerusalem flat-mates.  Last year, in early September, I returned for my annual pilgrimage to the Big Apple, where my mother was about to undergo surgery for cancer.   I knew our stay would not be short; I would not leave until I knew Mom was well on her way to recovery.   In the weeks before the trip, I happened upon a letter to the editor on Israeli-Palestinian peace in the New York Times from one Nabil Marshood.  The writer, it seemed, lived in the suburbs of northern New Jersey.  I tracked down Nabil, and informed him of our impending visit, arranging for Carole and me to spend an afternoon with him and Miriam at their home.   He was as excited as I to rekindle our friendship.  Twenty-three years later, my Palestinian-Israeli friends had become American citizens. They had recapitulated my father’s immigrant experience, even settling a few towns away from the place where we had planted our own roots.

 

Our reunion, over a sumptuous Middle Eastern feast arrayed on the Marshood patio, was sweet.  Nabil too has devoted himself, as my father and I have, to Palestinian-Israeli reconciliation.   We traded articles, and spoke gently of politics, realizing that we shared a common, if not identical perspective.  Most of their families remained in the villages of their birth, Miriam’s near Jerusalem in Beit Safafa, Nabil’s in the Galilee village of Kfar Mazra.  They spoke wistfully of home, and of the hardships of loved ones, but with no regrets. Their lives, and those of their now-grown children, were immeasurably richer than ever before.   From their house, we drove a few towns due north, to spend the evening with my oldest childhood friend from my New Jersey years, who had followed me to Jerusalem in the mid-seventies.   Joel had returned East to take up a post as an epidemiologist in the New York City Department of Health where, under a federally-funded program overseen by Mayor Guiliani, he worked to combat the spread of infectious disease. On a balmy evening in early September, we traded shop talk, I, of recent efforts to promote Palestinian-Israeli peace in Chicago, Joel of the rigors of preparing for the day when biological weapons might be unleashed by terrorists on the largest city in America. 

 

The next morning, we bid farewell to New York City.   As we left upper Manhattan and approached LaGuardia Airport, I was struck by the fact that from nearly anywhere in the city one could see the upper floors and broadcast antennas of the World Trade Center towers looming imperiously.   I had not visited them in some years; but they were my last visual image as the taxi left the city.  A few days later, back home in Chicago, we awoke to another image of the twin towers.   In those terrible moments, I knew it was the last vision of the great towers I would see.   How lucky was I to have made my peace with the New Jersey vistas I had so longingly spied from their summit.   Soon after, I phoned Joel.   As the first plane struck, on his way to work in his nearby office, he had just arrived in the subway station beneath the World Trade Center. “We needed to evacuate our headquarters, which is situated about seven blocks north of Ground Zero. Tough challenge to coordinate activities with communications down and the city's command center, the Emergency Operations Center in 7 WTC, destroyed. We’re anticipating the worst,  he warned.  When I called a few weeks later, Joel had little time to talk.   The drills were over.   The time had come.  The epidemiologists of New York City had become its life-line, and ours too. 

 

I can’t go home, and I can’t go back to the towers.  But soon after our return from New York our daughter was born, Talia Orit—in Hebrew, the light of God shines bright with hope, to encourage a new generation—and I will fulfill the pledge I made to myself and my father, whose Hebrew name, Oded, means encouragement, optimism.   I will look forward, and like Lot, never look back.   Perhaps I will glance, but no longer dwell in memory’s abyss.   I honor the past, but have overcome its siren call.   I pray that the long-suffering refugees from Palestine will discover the sublime but saving truth which others among us have been granted the grace to find.   For in their peace we are bound to find ours.